Note: You can listen to me narrate this post by clicking the “play” button at the top. Please still check out the symbolic pictures included throughout the post.
Free will was presented to me as a real thing. God created Adam and gave him free will so that Adam could freely choose to really love God. A slave cannot really love a master who demands fealty. A humanoid cannot really love its programmer. Love must be freely chosen to be real. If love is not freely chosen, then that “love” is fake and therefore worthless.
Since I was a kid, I’ve never been able to make sense of “free will.” I imagined God in His workshop. On His work table lies an infinite stack of blueprints. Each blueprint is an existential design for a unique human life that He could create (if He felt like it). Each blueprint contains every single knowable detail about the life of the potential person that He could bring into existence. “Ehhh,” God mumbles with dissatisfaction as He flips through the blueprints. “I don’t want to create Steve’s life or Parker’s. Hmm, Katie’s life looks like it would be lame, so I won’t create her…”
Finally, after much searching, God stumbles onto a blueprint of a potential individual life that He actually does want to create. “I guess I’ll make Marshall Chase McCready, who will go on to live a life with [insert every knowable detail of my entire life, even the parts that I haven’t lived yet]. I’ll make Marshall, who I know will go on to annoy people by arguing against the popular understanding of free will!”
If God is truly all-knowing, then He must have known that Adam would eat the fruit before He created Adam. He must have seen in advance that the version of Adam that He chose to create would eat the fruit.
If God didn’t know beforehand that Adam would eventually eat the fruit, then God could not truly have been omniscient. God must have had a blueprint for Adam’s entire life before He brought Adam into existence.
How is it possible for an omniscient God to create beings with “free will”? How is it possible for an omniscient God to be surprised? Adam supposedly surprised God with his disobedience. God could not have been disappointed with Adam if He wasn’t surprised by Adam’s actions. God must have expected, or at least hoped, that Adam would obey Him and not eat the fruit. Adam must have been able to surprise God.
But wait. God is omniscient, right? His hopes and expectations are always 100% conformed to reality. He created every single event. He knows what all events will be because He designed all events. How can God be surprised if He’s… Ugh!
Adam only has free will if he can surprise God. God has perfect knowledge of everything, so He is never surprised. Since God cannot ever be surprised, Adam did not have free will. Since Adam did not have free will, his “choice” to disobey God and eat the fruit was an illusory one. It was really God who chose for Adam to eat the fruit. God designed Adam’s nature and Adam’s actions flowed from his nature. God could have created Adam Blueprint #66, one with a different nature who wouldn’t have eaten the fruit, but instead, He specifically decided to use Adam Blueprint #67 and create the Adam that would go on to eat the fruit. This implies that God planned for Adam to sin and planned on cursing humanity to Hell. It implies that God likes sending people to Hell for some reason. Ugh again!
On one hand, God can’t be surprised. On the other, God must be able to be surprised. How am I supposed to make sense of this blatant contradiction?
Throughout my life, I have asked people this question. I have watched with despair as they revert inevitably to the answer that I have come to deeply dread and even hate. “Just have faith that it makes sense somehow,” they say. “Just have faith that we have this thing called free will. If we don’t have free will, then nothing in this life makes any sense! Marshall, why would God damn unrepentant sinners to Hell if they didn’t have free will? Marshall, why would there be suffering and death in this world if God wasn’t punishing us justly? Marshall, overcome your pride, get over your selfish need for this to make sense, and just have faith.”
I could tell you about how the Bible doesn’t include a single mention of “free will,” how there’s no scientific evidence for the existence of free will, how free will as a concept is theoretically unfalsifiable because it can’t be defined in any way that can be empirically tested, how it is impossible for two genetically distinct human beings born in unique life circumstances (individuals) to share any capacity whatsoever in exactly the same way, how the social psychological literature on the power of our unconscious shows that we constantly make decisions without realizing that we are, how impenetrable philosopher Galen Strawson’s argument is that people don’t have free will because we do what we do because of the way we are in a situation and we can’t choose the way we are in the present moment, how every supposed exercise of “free will” would necessitate the suspension of the physical laws of the universe that enabled physicists to predict the existence of the Higgs Boson almost 50 years before its actual observance, and more, and more, and more, forever.
I could drone on and on about how we don’t have free will and how “free will” as a concept is incoherent, but what would be the point? If you simply must have faith that free will exists, then nothing I say factually about “free will” will matter to you — literally at all.
People don’t believe in “free will” because of the facts about it, they believe in it because it is necessary for their story of life to make sense to them. So, let me tell you two stories. First, here’s a real story about a loving father.
A loving father has a young son who keeps trying to touch the kitchen stove. “Don’t touch the stove,” the father tells his son. The son keeps trying to touch it because he doesn’t understand why it would be bad to touch the stove. The son doesn’t understand consequences in life at all at this point, he’s too young and foolish. “Don’t touch it or you’ll be burned!” His dad warns.
Another day comes and the son attempts to touch the stove yet again. The father blocks his hand as always, “Son, no! You will surely be burned!” The son just giggles. He doesn’t understand what’s at stake, he doesn’t know that it hurts to be burned. That night, after the loving father puts his son to bed, he smiles and grins to himself. His son is curious and stubborn, just like he was when he was a kid.
The father sits in his chair to dwell on the fate of his son. He grows pensive and sullen. His son is now at the age where he needs to begin to understand that there are consequences in life. The son can’t keep trying to touch stoves his whole life! He needs to learn a lesson about life, but how? The father knows what he must do to teach his son this important life lesson. To impart some wisdom to his son, the father devises a plan which he puts into motion the following morning.
The loving father turns the stove on, but to the lowest setting possible. He places his hands on the electric burners to test them. They are hot, but not scalding. The father then shuts himself in his bedroom and waits dreadfully for his son to wake up. He can’t sleep all night.
He eventually hears his son come down the stairs. “Dad?” The son calls out. The father doesn’t respond. The son creeps into the kitchen and spots the unguarded stove. The father hears his son’s quiet footsteps through his bedroom door. He knows what his son is going to do, he’s been anticipating it all night. It’s in his son’s nature to be curious, just like it is in his. Still, the father’s stomach drops, and a tear slides down his cheek. He hates the thought of his son being hurt, even though he knows that this pain is necessary for his maturation. He knows that his son must learn this lesson and lessons like it if he’s ever going to grow up and be wise and loving like his dad. His son must fall if he is ever going to learn how to pick himself back up in this life.
“Agh!!” The son cries out. The father drops to his knees. He feels his son’s pain, he knows the feeling of being burned. He hears his son run upstairs and put his hands under the bathroom faucet. Eventually, the father regains his composure and goes to the kitchen to cook breakfast.
“Come and get it!” He yells up the stairs. He stands motionless as his son enters the stairwell. His son is trying to pretend that everything is fine, but his tear-stained face and bright red fingers tell a different story. As the son descends the stairwell, he avoids eye contact with his father. His father looks concerned. “Son, are you ready for breakfast? You look upset. Is there anything you’d like to tell me?”
The son bursts into tears, runs down the rest of the stairs, and jumps into his father’s arms. The father lifts his son up. He holds his son tightly and cries silently. “Did you…touch the stove?” The father nauseously asks his son. “Yes,” his son says tearfully. “But I didn’t see it there! I was just trying to get some breakfast!” The father rolls his eyes. “Son, I have told you many times not to touch the stove. Now, you understand why I have prohibited you from doing that. I’m glad you understand this now. You have become wiser about life through this painful experience. However, since you disobeyed me and lied to me about it, I’m going to ground you for a while.” The son, aghast, exclaims, “Grounded?! What’s that mean?!” The father calmly explains, “It means that I’m forcing you to reflect on what you have done for your own sake. You aren’t grounded forever, just until you have learned this lesson. It’s something every grown-up in real life has to learn at some point.”
That’s a heartwarming story, right? I think so! I like this dad! I like how he’s willing to intentionally sacrifice his son’s pain, and vicariously his own pain, so that his son can grow in wisdom and be more prepared for life in the real world! I like how this father empathizes with his child and cares about his growth and development! This sounds like love to me!
Now, let me tell you the second story. This is a fake story about an abusive father. Note that the setup is exactly the same. A father has a curious child who keeps trying to touch the kitchen stove.
“Stop!” The abusive father thunders at his son. “Don’t touch that! If you touch it, I will beat you senseless!” The son runs away from his angry father in tears. He slams his bedroom door shut.
In a rage, the abusive father leaves the house. He was too angry to realize that he left the stove on. He goes to a bar and drinks himself into oblivion. When he finally wakes up, he trudges back home with a pounding headache.
When he walks into his house, he sees that the stove is still on. His anger returns immediately and he pounds up the stairs to his son’s bedroom. He slams open the door and screams at his son. “Son, you stupid child! Did you touch that damn stove? What is wrong with you? How could you disobey me like that?!”
The son runs to a dark corner in his room, clutching a teddy bear. He’s crying uncontrollably. The abusive father takes the bear and flings it across the room. He roughly grabs his son’s fingers. “Oh, well look at this!” The father hisses. The son cowers lower into the corner. “Dad! I’m sorry! I was just trying to get some breakfast and I touched it on accident!”
The father’s rage boils over. He slaps his son across the face. “You are pathetic! Not only did you disobey me, you also lied about it! Why am I cursed to have such a stupid son? Why couldn’t I have had a smart one instead who already knows not to touch stoves? Don’t I deserve to have a better son than this — one who actually cares about his father?!”
The father yanks his son up by the hand and drags him down the stairwell. His son cries out to his father as his knees slam against the stairs. “Dad, no! I won’t touch it anymore! I don’t want to! It hurts! I get it now! Dad, please!” The abusive father ignores his son’s pleading. He walks his son to the stove. He turns it up as hot as it goes and smooshes his son’s face against the burner. “This is what you fucking get!” He screams into his son’s burning face. “You stupid disobedient child! I will press you against this stove for the rest of your worthless life!”
The father burns his son’s face on both sides. The father lifts his son up. He throws his son’s back down across all the burners. He presses the child into the stove. His son wails in pain. He begs his father to stop. The abusive father brings his child to the brink of death before finally pulling him off the stove and roughly tossing him onto the floor. The son can barely move. He reaches for his dad, crawling across the dirty floor. His tears cover his father’s feet as he kisses them. “Dad, I’ll never disobey you again, I promise! I’ll be good! Please, dad, stop hurting me like this!” The father sees his son’s submission. He smiles and grins to himself. “Good boy, keep that up and you won’t have to worry about me burning you on this stove anymore. Either way, you’re grounded for the rest of your miserable life.”
What do you think about this second story? I’m not a fan! This story profoundly disturbs me! It always has! It continues to offend me! I only grow more offended by it with each passing day!
It’s the second story, not the first, that is presented in churches everywhere with a smile. Sure, God was a terrible father to His first child, Adam. God’s child made one mistake, so He cursed Adam and all of humanity for it. That sucks, but it’s not the whole story! Look at the bright side! God regretted being absent and harsh with His first son so much that He exhausted all His rage in the direction of His other son, Jesus, who He created specifically to be tortured and wrongfully murdered! Isn’t that nice? Now we don’t have to suffer endless torment at God’s hands! He’s not going to press us against that stove forever! Well, not unless we submit our entire lives to him! If we don’t do that, then He’ll get angry at us again and curse us to Hell for eternity! But that’s not the main point here! It’s about how much God loves you! Isn’t this a great story?! Doesn’t God seem like the kind of Loving Father you’d like to have?! Aren’t you impressed by how God has opened our eyes to the truth?!
Say the two stories involve two separate father and son pairs. Ascribe free will to both the loved son and the abused son (whatever that means). Now look at these two children who supposedly have equal free will. Take a single second to think about these children’s real lives. Is one child more free to exercise his free will than the other? Are both children equally free to be free willed? Are both children equally free? Will one child be shackled to psychic chains more than the other?
Look around! Look! Do you not see how children are abused? Do you think abused children are as free to exercise their free will as children who are not abused? Do you think people who are addicted to methamphetamine are as free to exercise their free will as people who are not addicted to hard drugs? Are schizophrenic people as free unmedicated as they are when they are medicated? Do you think that people with severe mental disabilities have the same degree of freedom to exercise their free will as people fortunate enough to be born with typical brains? Are people with Stockholm syndrome as free to love as those without it?
Of course not. People are clearly not equally free to exercise their free will in real life. If one person has less ability to exercise their “free will” compared to another, then the idea that we all just equally “have” free will falls apart completely. No, we are not equally free. This goes against everything we know about the psychology of childhood development, abuse, mental disability, and addiction. It goes against what you see with your own eyes! An addict does not have the same degree of freedom to exercise their free will as someone who is not an addict. That’s why they need intervention! I’m tired of pretending like this isn’t obvious! It takes blindness to believe in equal free will from birth, not faith, because it flies in the face of all the tragedy you actually see in the real world. Real faith is not blindness, but an intentional posture toward life. Blinded people do not have faith, they live in ignorance!
Imagine if you had a dad as incompetent, vengeful, and sadistic as the abusive father. Would his treatment of you count as love? No! Of course not! It is abuse! I’m so grateful that I personally don’t have a dad like that! I feel sorry for any child unlucky enough to be born to this kind of abusive dad! I cry for them, I pray for them! I hope that in time they will see that the “love” of an abusive father is not real love, but slavery! I pray that they will unlearn this corrupted form of “love” and come to know a God who actually cares about them! I pray for their liberation from this existential slavery! I pray for their freedom!
I am a Christian, I believe in the God of the Bible. I worship a wise, loving, and understanding God, One Who actually relates to me like a kind father. This is not the same God that I knew when I grew up in the church. That God is abusive. My God is not out to get me. He doesn’t want to torture me for not being born with His Wisdom. Like the Ideal Dad, He wants me to grow in His Wisdom over time. He’s not unrealistic about how this process actually unfolds in the real world. He’s not blinded to the realities of this life. God knows how people learn and grow, for He controls Leviathan, the Force of Change, and He created Serpent, the Force of Curiosity.
It’s safe to say that God is wiser than Batman’s butler, Alfred. But it is Wise Alfred who extends his hand down to his adopted son when his son’s home is destroyed and his life thrown into chaos. Alfred knows how to Fight Anomie. He lovingly lifts his son up off the ground of shame. “Why do we fall, Marshall? So we can learn to pick ourselves back up.”
God isn’t foolish, He isn’t blind to reality. God understands that growth requires sacrifice. He grasps that you have to fall in order to grow, to learn, because He made life work that way.
You must fall to become stronger and wiser. You are a seed that fell off of God’s Tree of Wisdom. You had to fall, for if you didn’t then you could never grow into anything unique and have a real individual relationship with God. Just as you had to be freed from your parents to truly live on your own, you had to be freed from God before you could truly come to have a real, a reciprocal and loving, relationship with Him.
You can only find real freedom in this life if you are faithful enough to lose it! You are not a humanoid pre-programmed by God with “free will.” You are a real person! Real people change over time! Freedom for real people changes, just like everything else that God created in this life. Real freedom is not a binary thing that you either “have” or do not “have,” it’s something you find and connect with in different ways over time. It’s an aspect of your being that, like a tree, grows and decays across life’s actual changes — across the real seasons of your life.
Freedom is an ongoing relationship with life and God, and every real relationship has the potential for surprise. If God can’t surprise you, then your “knowledge” of God is purely conceptual and lifeless. You do not truly know Him if He cannot surprise you in this life. Spiritually open yourself to surprises from God; be willing to be weird, strange, and disturbed. Prepare yourself for change, for the movement of your life.
Brace yourself and face Leviathan!
Behold, man’s hope is false; he is laid low even at the sight of Leviathan.
No one is so fierce that he dares to stir Leviathan up. Who then is he who can stand before Me?
Who has first given to Me, that I should repay him?
Whatever is under the whole heaven is Mine.